Next Stop, Grandparenthood!

A LADY FRIEND - much younger than my wife and I - calls me up one night from her house and declares that she is in a state of panic; her eldest daughter who's just turned 18 is going into labor.  Our friend says that the stress s killing her and she needed a friendly voice to keep her sanity considering that her husband was not at home.  Half an hour after she called, they speed off to the nearest hospital in our place.  Around 2.30 in the morning, I am roused from my sleep with a text message: "Yehey, I'm now a grandmother!" 

Around two Sundays ago, we celebrated Grandparents’ Day.  And in a way, our friend's exciting journey into grandmotherhood aptly dovetailed to this whole affair.  And lo, a heartwarming thought!  In a few more years, my generation which saw the light of day in the ‘60s, will be fully an entire generation of grandparents too, either by blood, affinity, or by any creative design. 

In the grand scheme of things, it is a turning of events, the opening of a new major chapter in our lives that come to light.  In time, we become grandparents ourselves to make way for a new generation of the young, the better for hope to spring anew.  And far from dreading the coming twilight of our own years, we rejoice in being ushered into the most exciting times of our lives.  This is where we ensure that indeed better things will happen for those who will come after us.

            Each page that unfolds in this new chapter in our lives is not to step closer to the end, but to claim a God-given opportunity at redemption.  It is not a time for remorse or regret, but for righting the wrongs.  It is not a time for complacency, but for imparting wisdom from experience.  It is not a time for indifference, but for imbuing the young with wise counsel.  It is not a time for silence, but for speaking more of God and his goodness and mercy.  It is not a time for feeling worthless, but for allowing ourselves to be His instruments for whatever use He might consider us worthy.  It is not a time for smugness, but for setting legacies for our family, our loved ones, and our community; yes, especially our parish community. 

            In the end, we should do well to be like the virtuous described in Psalms 92: 13-15 who “flourish like palm trees, … thrive like the cedars…; planted in the house of the Lord, they will prosper in the courts of our God.  In old age they will still bear fruit, they will stay fresh and green, to proclaim that the Lord is upright, that He is my rock and there is no injustice in Him.”

            Let us pray for a meaningful and God-directed coming of age of all grandparents, grandparents-to-be, and those who feel deep within that for whatever reason they also deserve to be called grandparents, as well as to the new generation that has made and is making this possible.

(This article has appeared in my column The Wandering View, in the St. Paul of the Cross's Weekly Parish Newsletter, vol. 1, no. 46, Sept. 18, 2011.)

The Sick and their Loved Ones

FROM AUGUST UNTIL December of this year, our parish's Family Rosary Crusade and Apostleship of Prayer will go on prayer visits to selected parishioners who are ill.  While prayer visits are a vital part of the two organizations’ apostolic work, the activity is being pursued in response to the call of the parish for a year-round outreach by its ministries and organizations. 

            Praying for and visiting the sick are powerful acts of faith.   A sick person is not only in a most vulnerable state physically, mentally, and emotionally, his spirituality is also tested to the hilt by the devil who finds a mind and body weakened by illness fair game.  As we pray, we call on God to come to the succor of the frail and the feeble, to empower them with His presence, His hope, and His love.  As we pray for acceptance of one’s illness and for complete submission to His will, with equal zeal we also implore the power of the greatest healer.

            But our prayers are not only meant for the sick, but for the loved ones who care for them as well.  They are just as vulnerable as their wards.  The spiritual strength required in caring for a sick relative needs to be sustained for the devil delights in chiseling bits of it hoping it cracks and crumbles in time.  The devil gloats in the financial expenses that over-burden the family, the stress that tires the body, the confusion that engulfs the mind so distracted by the uncertainty of the illness’ extent and outcome.  Indeed, intimidations are as vast as the devil’s ability for wanton cunning.

            My father was bedridden for almost two years after a stroke.  Brain surgery only proved a palliative that prolonged his and our family’s agony; for while he came off it alive, it was helpless in restoring his memory and speech.  All that remained was a man who had to be taken care of like a child; a child who often would just stare right through us in failed recognition.  

            We could easily have succumbed to despair.  We could easily have given in to the devil’s designs and blamed God for our ordeal.   There was hardly any reason for my mother, my sister, and me to expect my father’s recovery through some miraculous turn of events.  And while there were the expenses and the anxieties, these paled to the pain in my heart each time I kissed my father’s cheeks and softly caressed his forehead.

But through it all, we prevailed.  Yes, as a family we did entreat our Lord for his guiding hand, but the prayers and home visits from friends and good souls had an overwhelming yet calming effect on us.  Somehow, regardless of how things were, the message that God would never abandon us even for a second, especially at the lowest and saddest moments of our lives, never sounded more clear and true.

            This experience makes for my fierce belief in the power of intercessory prayers for and of visits of the sick.  We may never know how and when God would eventually respond to our actions, but surely He will as He takes kindly to them.  And He takes them as cues to make a positive difference in the lives of those for whom we pray.

           So, have you prayed for or visited someone who's sick lately?  And don't forget, pray for and give some comforting words to their loved ones too.  


(This article also appeared in my column The Wandering View, in the St. Paul of the Cross's Weekly Parish Newsletter, vol. 1, no. 45, Sept. 11, 2011.)

Tea Lights for my Children (1)

I AM STARTING a series of random advices for my children – I call them "tea lights" (my wife's so fond of them) to brighten their way – as they journey through life. I will not be leaving much to my children in terms of material possessions, but I hope these thoughts would be far more valuable.  Like tea lights, the advices may be short, briefly stated, but are just bright enough to give light.  They are the fruits of many a happy and sad experience, lessons learned from mistakes I hope they will not commit, small victories that have meant so much to me, and realizations while seeking and finding God in my own journey of life.

1. Love God always.  Your love of God should reflect in everything you say and do, everyday.  You can never out-love a God who loves you more than you’ll ever know.  Our family has survived crisis after crisis because He has never failed to be there for us.  There is so much truth in the saying that “No problem is too big to a much bigger God.”  Treat Him as you would a loving father, a brother, or a friend.  He need not be feared for He is a loving and merciful God who will understand you more than we, as your parents, ever will.  If this is will be the only advice you would remember of me, I have already done my part as a parent. 

2. Never make that grievous mistake of doubting God’s existence.  I did become an atheist once, trusting in my own strength and will.  At the end of it all, I felt so ashamed and remorseful.  Our Lord is so good that He’ll continue loving you in spite of your follies.  But do keep in mind that He does not deserve such so-called intellectual arrogance and disrespect from us.

3. Mama Mary is our number 1 intercessor before God.  Her prayers to her Son on our behalf are powerful.  Remember Cana.  Always include an appeal for Mama Mary’s intercession in your prayer – your daily prayer, as you must have a daily prayer time. 

4. Everyday, acknowledge the presence of your guardian angels.  They have been with you before you were even born.  Thank them for guarding and guiding your life everyday and every night.  Vocalize your thoughts when communicating with them; they’re not mind-readers, I was told.  Call upon them always, speak to them like you would a close friend and confidante.  Remember, your guardian angels know you through and through – your plans, your secrets, in fact, all of who you are.  And as you acknowledge them, keep in mind how so good our God is for assigning a guardian angel just for you.

5. Take care of your Mama as she has always taken care of you since you were just this teeny-weeny small.  Love her more than you’ll ever love your future husband or wives.  She is all that you have and when the going gets tough, you can be sure she’s there to give you support.  She’s a very strong woman, this I know well, even if she is easily moved to tears.  I know that she’ll never impose on you.  Accord her the care that she deserves.  She may become grumpy at times; just let it pass.  You’ve had tantrums worse than that, and she bore everything through it all because she loves you so much.

6. You may want to earn as much money as you want, but only - and only - through hard and honest work.  On the other hand, while it is good to have money, always remember that it is far better to have things that money cannot buy.  And what are these things?  Love among yourselves, respect from your peers and people who matter most to you, a lovely home and family, peace of mind, a healthy body, and a strong relationship with God.  These are PRICELESS.  But if you’re going to ask me, forget seeking wealth; focus on what will make you fulfilled and happy, especially in pursuits that make people’s lives and their future better.  At the end of life’s journey, this matters the most.

7. Stick to one another as siblings.  Your roots and your blood have a common lineage that binds you forever.  Always remember to treat each other fairly and with equity.  Make us proud by behaving in ways that reflect your good breeding and education, that reflect our having done a good job in raising you.  If possible, come and visit the place where your Mama and I will be interred.  Please go there together often and have a picnic. You can be sure we will be there listening to your stories and the laughter of your children – our grandchildren.

8. Thank the people who have had positive influences in your life.  The teacher who believed in you and encouraged you to succeed.  The friend who stood by you.  Or the one who gave you a life-changing advice.  All of them are God-sent.  Moreover, they would feel good knowing that they have made a difference in someone else’s life.  Start writing to them now.

9. When the time comes that each one of you gets married, respect each other’s spouses.  They too are now your siblings and deserve to be treated as such.  If I hear you quarrelling with your in-laws, I’ll visit you while you’re asleep, appear to you in a most hideous form, and pinch your armpits.

10. Unless absolutely necessary, never use a credit card.  Pay cash as it will keep you from buying things that are unnecessary.  I’ve had tragic incidents as a result of poorly managing the use of my credit card, and I don’t want you to experience the same thing.  The whole experience is like the proverbial lifting a stone and bashing your head with it.  Oftentimes I think of the credit card as the handiwork of the devil.

11. Always pay what you owe.  You do not deserve a life of discomfort and insecurity knowing that you owe someone money.  Believe me, I know how depressing and self-demeaning it feels.  To prevent borrowing and going into loans, always live within your means.  This is a common yet very wise advice that people always tend to disregard. 

12. Your Lola used to remind me of the formula for the proper management of money: Income minus savings equals expenses.  Save 10 percent from your monthly earnings and mark them as payment for you and as emergency fund.

13. Never allow food left in the refrigerator to spoil.  As you respect food, so shall it respect you and never leave you.  Be wary of "busong." Put everything that is perishable in the ref before going to bed.  And do make fried rice in the morning out of left-over rice.

14. Practice tithing.  Put 10 percent of whatever you earn in the church coffers.  Or, if not, make sure that you spend a tenth of whatever you earn in a month for charity; a kind old priest told me that.  But as you do the latter, never tell people it came from you.  Instead, tell them that you simply solicited it from anonymous generous hearts.  God knows what you’ve done and all angels and saints in heavens are rejoicing; a measly recognition from a few here on earth isn’t worth it.  If you have questions about tithing, read Malachi 3: 10-12.

15. Be a church worker while you’re still young and very much able.  There are so many ministries and organizations in the parish to choose from.  You should be at your best and finest while serving the Lord in that capacity, not when you’re already old and grey, with eye sight failing, and joints in pain due to arthritis.  That’s not giving your best to our Lord.

16. When you have children of your own, always kiss them; hug them tight every so often.  It’s not enough to tell them you love them; show them.  Your children will never remember you for the amount of money you give them every day, or if the food on the table is delicious or not, or if you have taken them to places far and near.  They will remember you for how much you loved them and how you showed it.  They will remember how you made them feel loved.  And that is what being a parent is all about.

17. Always eat vegetables and fruits and take your vitamins.  Nobody ever died from eating too much vegetables and fruits.  On the contrary, these will allow you to live longer and live better days.

18. Always wear decent clothes when going to Church.  If you’d wear your best if you had an appointment with an important person at his office, why not present yourself in the same manner when having an appointment with God?  Think about that.

19. Try to muster one musical instrument, and indulge yourself in sing-alongs and videoke sessions.  These are good outlets for the artist inside you.  And during Sunday masses, sing the mass hymns as passionately as you would the songs in videoke machines.

20. Read at least one book every quarter of the year.  A voracious reader experiences far greater things in life than anyone who’s far wealthier but doesn’t read.  Allow your mind to wander the corners of the world and to wonder of its beauty and mystery through the liberating power of words and nicely written articles that inform and educate.  Keep a subscription of Reader’s Digest, Time, and National Geographic.  And if you have extra money, include Popular Science and Popular Mechanics.  And don’t throw away old issues; they’re classic.  Except for Time, I’ve been reading issues of these magazines that are as old as 20 years, and most of the articles are as relevant today as the day they were first written.

Welcome Storms!

TYPHOONS THAT CAME a-visiting in the recent months not only left the entire country damped, but also dreadfully damaged as a train of flash floods, landslides, destruction of property and livelihood, evacuation of communities, and numerous deaths followed their tracks.  Thus, the “lackluster” tenure of Tropical Storm “Nonoy,” the first storm to enter the country’s area of responsibility this month, was nothing short of a welcome turn of events.

            The weather bureau reported that “Nonoy” quickly came and went, “making no impact on the archipelago.”  No impact, my foot!  What did they want, a hurricane? 

I’ll think well of “Nonoy” for two reasons:   One, I finally got a storm that’s my namesake; the result of the weather bureau’s modernization of names which were for decades relegated to women’s and to those that were obscenely hackneyed. And two, the rains it brought in were tempered just enough to irrigate the farms, and maintain the level of dams that provide our cities’ water supply.  “Nonoy,” in effect, made an impact; quite a positive impact I should say.

Can’t help making an analogy on this though.  In life, some of us do come across like super-typhoons, wrecking havoc on those around by the way we conduct ourselves, the way we speak, treat others, etc.  We throw our weight in ways that can only be mean, condescending, and detestable.  We know not a few people of wealth and in authority behaving this way.   Sadly, they try to justify what they are, what they do, and what they have become by insisting on the constrictions of human nature.

On the other hand, we have those who, in their own small, simple and quiet ways come and better the lives of the people they meet.  They do so also as a matter of human nature, but of one with virtuous predisposition to do what is right and beneficial. 

Fine examples abound: The teachers of Morong, Rizal, who travel for hours on foot everyday just to meet their students in far-flung Barangay Yapak.  The anonymous not-so-well-off parishioners who drop by our Bahay Kalinga office and discreetly hand over a few pesos as contribution to the church’s social service projects.  The mother and father who shower their children with unconditional affection, yet do not spoil them.  The doctors and dentists who go on missions in villages and slum areas.  The businessmen who put the welfare of their employees at par or even above any desire for profit.  The sibling, the friend, or the spouse who is always a source of consolation and inspiration when needed.

The actions of these people do not depend on their capacity to give, but on their willingness to simply give more of what they have, beyond what is expected of them.  Their actions tell the world that this is the extent of what we can do; the extent of what love can do if only it is freely given.  These people will be remembered with fondness and respect long after they’ve gone. 

              Some storms, like some people, will be remembered with annoyance and resentment, the reason their names are forever scratched off the list.  And there will be welcome storms that come after a long absence of rain, just strong enough to water the earth and let life flourish.  These are the people with just enough purpose to make a positive difference and whose memories will always be in the hearts of those they have so warmly touched.           

Happy Birthday, Mama Mary!

O BLESSED MOTHER, pray for us always before your Most Holy Son 

as we remain ever confident of your most powerful intercession!

Our Mother of Perpetual Help, pray for us!

Our Lady of Peñafrancia, pray for us!

Are Your Anti-'Demonia' Shots Working?

PEOPLE WERE SHOT in our parish church last Sunday, August 28.

             Given vaccine shots, that is, in our parish’s first anti-pneumonia drive dubbed “No to Pneumo.”  The project brought down the cost of the vaccine to half of its market price, with some of the proceeds going to the church ministry were my wife and I serve as coordinators.   

With a 5-year efficacy, the vaccine offers the recipient a healthy dose of peace of mind knowing that life's pneumonia-free until 2016.  After all, the disease is not exactly lightweight; it remains among the top killer diseases in the country today.

Having done with the anti-pneumonia drive, we're now setting our sights on an anti-“demonia” crusade.  Its aim is to immunize ourselves from the ills that demons and Satan’s entire cohort try to afflict us with every day.  The symptoms of “demonia” vary, but apathy toward God and arrogance toward neighbor are the most common. 

Unlike common vaccines that have to be administered between long periods, the anti-“demonia” vaccine must be given as frequently as possible for its strains are numerous and are continually evolving. 

Starter doses are given for free every week, more appropriately during Sunday masses.  But the process is quite the reverse.  Because rather than antibodies, lurking in our souls are antigens which we need to get rid of.   Thus, no less than Jesus Christ, through the priest’s sermons and homilies and through His Body in Communion, administers us with “demonia” antibodies with the hope that our souls, with its “demonia” antigens, would respond accordingly.  We may feel feverish as our hearts are set on fire.  We may feel aches and pains as remorse and repentance set in.  Or, we may feel nothing long after the priest gave his final blessing because the “demonia’s” virulence has made us too numb to see and feel God’s presence in the Eucharistic celebration.

We are too sick because we never deepen our understanding of what it is to be a follower of Christ, i.e., to be His living example to our fellowmen.  We are too sick because we do not have the slightest idea of what the mass is all about, i.e., the highest form of prayer, worship, and sacrifice where no less than Christ is present.  Or at worst, our minds just wander while in Church, and at some point we ask: “why am I here in the first place?”  We are sick because we see our being Christians merely as a Sunday obligation, a qualification for our children to enroll in Catholic schools, an imposition of family and culture, and nothing else.  We are sick because we simply pay lip service to our Christianity; our actions a contradiction to what and who we are at home, in our workplaces, and in our communities, and how we treat the poor and the needy among us.

For the anti-demonia vaccine to work, we need to realize first how sick in soul and spirit we indeed are and, second, in dire need of divine succor.  And that, only we can do even as we must, through confession, seek forgiveness for our transgressions.  In time, booster shots of regular Bible reading, daily prayer time, formation in church, etc.  will have to be given to deepen our faith. 

For now, let’s just ask ourselves: Are the regular Sunday starter doses of anti-“demonia” shots working for me?

(This article is excerpted from my column, The Wandering View, in the St. Paul of the Cross Weekly Parish Newsletter, vol. 1, no. 44, September 4, 2011)